“Should” = Suffering

August 25, 2004 at 10:12 am | In Uncategorized |

Chris gives us this gem from The Dalai Lama:

The threshold between right and wrong is pain.

Chris goes on to say:

It amazes me how much pain we humans can create for ourselves through judgment and longing. Anytime I find myself using ’should’ I look at it as a trigger for a question. ‘Should’ is a sign that we need to inquire into the nature of our expectations about things. From there we can create strategy for either changing the world to bring it in line with our vision, or changing ourselves to recognize reality and alleviate our own suffering.

In his 1969 speech, The Healing of Suffering, that marks the beginning of the Humanist Movement, Silo talks ties suffering to desire:

There is yet another kind of suffering that does not recede even with the advance of science or with the advance of justice. This type of suffering, which belongs strictly to your mind, retreats before faith, before joy in life, before love. You must understand that this suffering is always rooted in the violence that exists in your own consciousness. You suffer because you fear losing what you have, or because of what you have already lost, or because of what you desperately long to reach. You suffer because of what you lack, or because you fear in general.

These, then, are the great enemies of humanity: fear of sickness, fear of poverty, fear of death, fear of loneliness. All these forms of suffering pertain to your mind, and all of them reveal your inner violence, the violence that is in your mind. Notice how that violence always stems from desire. The more violent a person is, the more gross are that person’s desires.

I definitely feel that the Dalai Lama, Chris and Silo have it right when it comes to my life.

4 Comments

  1. Hey…that’s putting me in some pretty good company! Thanks…

    ;-)

    Comment by Chris Corrigan — August 25, 2004 #

  2. You’ve very welcome, Chris. We all have it in us. That’s the whole point of what you and they are saying, no? Well, if not, that’s what I’m saying. :-)

    Comment by Ted Ernst — August 25, 2004 #

  3. ok…i like this. but what does it mean? that is…i can see where i am suffering, and i can relate to some of Silo’s examples (loneliness is my greatest fear, for example) — so, how can i harness my understanding of this, and leverage it (the knowledge/understanding) to prevent (?) the suffering?

    Comment by Steve — August 30, 2004 #

  4. Steve, yes, that’s the trick, isn’t it? In my experience, the learning and change comes from what happens after I recognize the fear. If can I can then raise my awareness so that I notice times when I’m not in the suffering from the fear, then I can use intention to catch myself before I’m going into the suffering, or at least to get out faster. Awareness that I have a choice is really important for me. I’m not necessarily able to “prevent” but even recognizing when I’m in it helps me get out of it.

    Comment by Ted Ernst — September 2, 2004 #

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