Humanize the Earth!

Critical Mass Theater

This is an excerpt from Stopping Them in their Tracks, a longer piece by my friend Travis Hugh Culley:

Critical Mass is much like a play, and in any play there is conflict. How we handle conflict determines whether the ride becomes a comedy or a tragedy. In the eight years that I have been participating in Chicago Critical Mass rides, I have seen both. Some conflicts could have been avoided, and some could not have, but an element of theatricality serves both, protecting the people on the ride, and the meaning of what a Critical Mass is. Let’s look at a CM ride as though it were a piece of theater that broke out of the auditorium. Suddenly is not limited to a stage, or a proscenium. The mass is limited only by its size. It has a message. It has an audience, however part of that audience has a rocket launcher underneath their right foot. They are in cars.

Unable to transcend the gridlock that they are experiencing, many people can and lose their tempers and come pushing through the mass. They see us riding through red lights while they wait for the green, and then another green, and then another green. We have to remember that the time that we cause other people to wait is like a moment on stage, and whoever is holding an intersection should try to take that opportunity to interact with the audience.

The aesthetics of the intersection

It may be helpful to think of intersections like scenes and roads like scene changes because most of the antagonism that I have seen from motorists has happened in the intersections. The people who cork the intersection need to understand that they are doing more than protecting the mass from angry drivers, they are also educating drivers about their alternative forms of transport. Sometimes the best way to settle a potential conflict is to lead the interaction your self. The spectacular aspect of the ride depends on people seeing the sense we have in cycling. Therefore we should be sensible, and make sense to them. Drivers will appreciate an explanation for the delay, however you do it. Hand out flyers, hold your bike in the air, talk about what we’re doing, and thank them for waiting.

There’s no use skirting around this forever: A Critical Mass wants to stop traffic, and it wants to make a spectacle of our passing. We want motorists to consider the sense of bicycling by showing them the beauty, and the FUN of it. I think, if we are going to delay motorists, we’d better give them something to look at. Credit must be given to so many people for their contributions in this regard: the Rats, the Scallywags, the High Wheelers, the Naturists, and so many others for keeping up the spectacle. These theatrics can be thought of as the price we pay for the delay that we bring with us. By corking a major intersection we are creating a passion play of innovators like Christopher Wallace, Johnny Payphone and Al “The Pal”, who can show off bicycles that motorists have never seen before. Whatever virtue they have in the world, in the intersection they serve to make people interested. So bring out the costumes, and the TV bikes, the glow sticks, musical instruments, and whatever else you can bring. Balance your bicycle on your chin, because DUMB ENTERTAINMENT CAN APPEASE AN ANGRY MOB. Therefore, good juggler is essential to the safety of a Critical Mass ride. Bright colors, and flags, make motorists feel wanted. People are all alone in their cars, and therefore they can find themselves very susceptible to flattery this way.

Here’s a tip on keeping an audience–SMILE, even when they are yelling profanities out of their windows. Refuse to engage in a challenge by smiling through it. Drivers will sometimes try to push through a mass, and if they do this remember: FUN! Promise them that if they don’t calm down that another biker will join in them, and they will. If a motorist is pushing into the mass, it is assault, and other bikers will see it happening and come to your aide, but you should not stop smiling. If you hit the car, or break a mirror, your getting someone very upset. In a mass, we are never arguing with motorists, we are only entertaining them.

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