more on circle of friends

February 16, 2006 at 12:02 am | In humanize, open space, friends, invitations |

TantraNova’s second Circle of Friends gathering was tonight and since I didn’t write the story of the 1st one yet, this post will be a two for one. Please see my previous posts for the story of how this happened. I opened the space for both these events and am happy to report what happened and my own internal process.

The first gathering had about 20 people (maybe a few less), coming together for the first time without a teacher/student kind of relationship at the fore. This is a free event, which is also quite different. Simone and I partnered on the facilitation. She opened with a meditation calling forth our intentions. I walked the circle and explained the open space process. She then remembered that she wanted to invite introductions so she did so. I looked at the clock and wondered if we were going to have time for any topic sessions at all. This was my practice for the evening, breathing into that wondering and being fully present to whatever was being said. I don’t think I let on at any point that time was short (we only had an hour and a half total), and eventually, everyone was introduced. We did manage 3 posted topics and one butterfly conversation, came back together for annoucements (bad idea because it took too long, decided later that asking people to put invitations on a table might work) and had a brief closing where everyone breathed together and then said one word about the current feeling. Lots of energy and good feelings.

Tonight’s energy was quite different. The first time was the first time and there was lots of excitement. This time we were on a different night of the week and there was very little “hype” coming in. I posted the one Law (The Law of Two Feet) and the Four Principles, this time, which I hadn’t the first time, so they were on the wall when everyone came in.

      Whenever is starts is the right time.
      Whoever comes is the right people.
      Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
      When it’s over, it’s over.

There were 5 of us for introductions (name and one word about intention for the evening this time) and the opening meditation. I opened the space and talked a bit more thoroughly about open space this time. Three topics were announced fairly quickly and then 3 new people walked in. After a pause for a bit more explanation, it turned out there were no more topics. My work tonight was being okay with the suggestion that the group stay together as one because we were small. Of course this is not up to me, so it’s not my job to be okay or not to be okay. I would have prefered that we not stay together so I breathed through that and was fine with what the group wanted to do. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.

About an hour in to the whole thing, a 9th person arrived. Shortly thereafter, someone suggested we give massages. Some else quickly wrote that on a topic card and 3 groups of 3 were self-organized with two givers and one receiver. Wow, did the energy shift quickly! This was really great because the group learned that physical practices also work in open space, in addition to “talking about.” I didn’t have to ring bells or say anything at all for the group to finish the massages just about on time and come back to the main circle for a quick breathe together, one word about where you are kind of closing, and that was that. Awesome!

3 Comments

  1. “My work tonight was being okay with the suggestion that the group stay together”
    Who says who works? Why does one person’s suggestion mean another person’s work? I guess in this case you, being the facilitator, had to be big about it and choose to work. But, perhaps two participants had conflicting suggestions. Do people take turns “working”? And, who keeps track? These are sort of rhetorical questions, but sometimes I find myself on the short end of the stick, the one who has to “work” when I’d rather not.

    Comment by Kristinwt — February 20, 2006 #

  2. Great questions, Kristin. My job for the evening was to hold the space. Often in gatherings many people hold space in different ways at different times. My job was to be the primary spaceholder. In this role, it would be in appropriate for me to put my own contents into the space in a situation like this.

    The next time something like this happens, it won’t be as much work for me, because I now have this experience of how the group takes care of itself. This time it was faith that allowed me to stay silent. Next time, it will be experience that allows me to stay silent.

    It’s interesting to be the one to work when I’d rather not. I made a choice to offer open space to this group and a big part of that is trusting them to take care of themselves while I hold the space.

    AND, the group had this experience this time, so it likely will not happen again this way. I’m guessing that others will feel the way I did, that staying in one group is not what they want, so things will be different, and not from me having to say anything. :-)

    Comment by ted — February 22, 2006 #

  3. […] I’ve written before about the first two circle of friends gatherings. Tonight was #3. […]

    Pingback by Humanize the Earth! — March 21, 2006 #

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress with Pool theme design by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds. Valid XHTML and CSS. ^Top^